A positive mindset is ESPECIALLY important in RELATIONSHIPS!
“Gratitude can transform common days into Thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” - William Arthur Ward
Between all the big day preparation and cooking that has been planned, it’s easy for all of us to get swept up in the festive chaos and lose sight of a thankful heart. Thanksgiving serves as the perfect reminder and inspiration for all that we have to be grateful for.
Family, be it inherited or extended, is a safe place to encourage positive attitudes and foster a growth mindset. Having a growth mindset in relationships means that instead of feeling doomed if our family or relationship faces a challenge, we see it as an opportunity to learn and grow closer together.
Thanksgiving is more than the festivities, it gives us time to ponder upon what lessons we have learned and how we can spread happiness around, to look back at all the great memories and good people who came into our lives.
Being a family means you are part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life. No matter what!
People like to be around other people who are positive. More than any other quality, a positive mindset (attitude) acts like a magnet to attract friends and acquaintances.
Let’s face it, none of us have a positive mindset all the time. The important thing is to combine more than one beneficial mindset with another to truly be living life to the best of your abilities.
How do we nurture trusting relationships?
Today, I’d like to continue our short series on MINDSET, the #1 Essential in our (5) Essentials of Well-being. We will cover the importance of developing trusting loving relationships, and explore some tips and techniques for cultivating a positive mindset in a way that is meaningful for you individually, and for your family.
Plus, you are welcome to indulge in the secret pumpkin custard recipe I have been sharing with my family and friends over the last several holidays. You can access the recipe online, Here. Enjoy!
You may feel inspired to practice some of these new skills with your spouse, children, coworkers and friends while we take MINDSET in bite-sized, easy to read pieces, so that you can enjoy thinking about and practicing over this Thanksgiving week.
Remember, gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. Pause to count your blessings. The freedom of this great country in which we live. It’s opportunity for achievement. The friendship and confidence you have shown your friends and family.
Having a positive mindset means making positive thinking a habit, continually searching for the silver lining, and making the best out of any situation you find yourself in.
Here are (4) tips for nurturing those trusting relationships we all desire, and creating the best possible “family” life - be it inherited or extended.
Your mindset plays a critical role in how you cope with life’s challenges. You may recognize some of these behaviors or beliefs in yourself or people around you.
ATTITUDE
People like to be around other people who are positive. More than any other quality, a positive mindset (attitude) acts like a magnet to attract friends and acquaintances. “Attitude” is commonly used to describe a negative behavior. But while a negative attitude turns people off, a positive attitude benefits all those involved, including you.
Your nonverbal message speaks louder than words. What you say is often not as important as the way you say it. Through your tone of voice, inflection and body posture, you convey your meaning. When you respect another person, your nonverbal language lets the other person know you care and value the relationship. People sometimes become defensive when they feel disrespected. But when you have a respectful attitude toward others, trust develops and your relationships flourish.
LOOK ON THE UPSIDE
When you expect bad things, you look for the negative. But when you see people and situations with an optimistic outlook, you find the best. Even when bad things happen, an optimistic viewpoint seeks ways to turn negative consequences into positive results. When you expect the best it helps you create enduring relationships, according to “Optimism in Close Relationships: How Seeing Things in a Positive Light Makes Them So,” on the University of Oregon website. The research indicated that feeling supported is more important to men. The researchers speculated that guys are more concerned about supportive romantic relationships because women generally have broader social circles.
ENTHUSIASM
Enthusiasm motivates, inspires and brings excitement to all types of relationships. The U.S. Department of Labor cites enthusiasm as equal to or more important than job skills in an employer-employee relationship. Job skills can be learned, but enthusiasm is a personal characteristic. In personal relationships, an enthusiastic attitude brings humor and ease to interactions in the “process of living life well”.
CHANGE
If you are not naturally gifted with positive attitudes, you can change. Understanding how your thoughts, behaviors and feelings are related can help you take steps to have a more positive attitude. Think of each attribute as a point on a triangle mounted on an axis: one point for thoughts, one point for behaviors and the last point for feelings. Move the thought point, and the behaviors and feelings points move, too. By deliberately thinking about the good, you change the way you respond and how you feel. Likewise, by changing the behavior point -- deliberately smiling or being polite -- you change your thoughts and feelings. Small changes can lead to positive attitudes and enhance all your relationships.
Remember the GRATITUDE MINDSET?
A lot of people forget to be grateful for everything they have in life. For having a roof over their head, a paying job, a family, a good supply of food and water.
We often forget to be thankful for what we have, because the majority of people within our country of origin have exactly the same as us. The people we speak with and spend time with on a daily basis; all have access to the same basic resources we have.
If you can be grateful for what you have, you won’t take anything for granted in this life, and you’ll be happier in the long run.
The advantages of the gratitude mindset:
It keeps you humble, no matter how much success you achieve in life
You appreciate the things you have a lot more
It’s a lot easier for you to be a happy individual
You’ll make the most of the precious time you have
The disadvantages of the gratitude mindset:
There are no real disadvantages of being grateful
Do you possess the gratitude mindset?
THE BOTTOM LINE
Remember…..
All that we ARE, comes down to the STATE of MIND we choose to live in!
Keep in mind, that your mindset is never fixed forever – it’s merely a collection of beliefs and thoughts that have somehow been joined by your childhood environment, your experiences, and the people with whom you hang around! You can change it if you want to!
THE most important thing in life, is how you feel about YOURSELF!!!!
You’ll see that awareness and integrity are linked to a better quality of life, and once we incorporate a growth mindset personally, we are then ready to enter into relationships with others. This is what can take you from the “okay life” to the “good life.”
As I’ve said before — this MINDSET series isn’t about the kind of positive thinking that is all positive, all the time. I don’t claim that just “thinking happy thoughts” will bring you all the success you desire in life, and we certainly don’t believe that optimism is warranted in every situation, every minute of the day.
Developing the right thoughts is not about being constantly happy or cheerful, and it’s not about ignoring anything negative or unpleasant in your life. It’s about incorporating both the positive and negative into your perspective and choosing to still be generally optimistic.
It’s about acknowledging that you will not always be happy and learning to accept bad moods and difficult emotions when they come.
Above all, it’s about increasing your control over your own attitude in the face of whatever comes your way. You cannot always control the thoughts that pop into your head, but you can choose how you handle them.
When you choose to give in to the negativity, pessimism, and doom-and-gloom view of the world, you are not only submitting to a loss of control and potentially wallowing in unhappiness — you are missing out on an important opportunity for growth and development.
Our mindsets exist on a continuous cycle from fixed to growth, and although we’d like to always have a growth mindset, the reality is that we can only be on a journey to a growth mindset. The goal is to recognize fixed mindset elements in ourselves and then reflect on feedback and strategies for how to improve.