What shapes your ENTIRE life?
You are not your mindset!
But your mindset will create your life.
Consciously, or not…
So, why am I writing this blog about mindsets (or attitude)?
Because I don’t think a lot of us really think about why we are the people we are, how we got to where we are, and how bright our future can be! I see people in and out of my practice that are so hard on themselves, may have given up, or have no idea where to start to improve their lives (personally or their health).
Your mindset is a set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of the world and yourself. It influences how you think, feel, and behave in any given situation. A positive mindset is the tendency to focus on the bright side, expect positive results, and approach challenges with a positive outlook. AND, it affects your entire life!
So, how did you do on the mindset self-quiz assessment last week? If you missed out, you can find out if you have a fixed or growth mindset by taking a short self-quiz using this link and catch up by reading last week’s newsletter on mindset, HERE.
Having a positive mindset means making positive thinking a habit, continually searching for the silver lining, and making the best out of any situation you find yourself in.
Your mindset plays a critical role in how you cope with life’s challenges…..
Mindset is what makes ALL the difference!
Today, I’d like to continue our short series on MINDSET, the #1 Essential in our (5) Essentials of Well-being.
We will cover the importance of developing the right thoughts, identify some of the benefits of approaching life from a positive point of view, and explore some tips and techniques for cultivating a positive mindset in a way that is meaningful for you individually, and for your family.
Feel free to practice some of these new skills with your spouse, children, coworkers and friends. Let’s take MINDSET in bite-sized, easy to read pieces, so that you can enjoy thinking about and practicing over this coming week.
Get ready…..
Before we get started, I’d like you to click on this link and listen to a (3) minute song. Click > HERE.
What comes to mind when you listen to this song? Your spouse, soulmate, son, daughter, your mom, dad, someone else?
As you read on and learn more about mindset, you may want to listen to this song every morning this week, and practice some of the new thought patterns that we will be exploring today.
Did you know that….
THE most IMPORTANT thing in LIFE, is HOW you FEEL about YOURSELF!!!!
If you have ever been in love – do you remember how you felt in the early days of the relationship? Fabulous! Life was great – everything looked wonderful; things flowed; people were nicer, kinder and more interesting!; You laughed more; others loved being around you – you vibrated at a higher level which was very attractive to others.
All because ‘someone loved you’. No – it was because YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF!
When you are surrounded by the adoration of another who thinks you are amazing, witty, funny, sexy, charming, clever and capable and all those others things we think our perfect partner is, you feel wonderful!
But it’s really because you see yourself as you truly are! You actually fall in love with yourself! And then, every thing else changes!
Now, think of a time when you were filled with purpose and meaning – you were on a mission! You were working towards something you really believed in, or you enjoyed doing. Other people were not nearly so aggravating! Things flowed. People thought you were interesting! Life was great! Because you felt good about yourself.
Now, remember that song earlier? Can you embody this song when thinking about yourself? Try it, you deserve it. And, so do those you are with every day.
So, what Stops Us from Feeling Good About Ourselves?
It’s fear, and a fixed mindset. Fears block our ability to see ourselves as the astonishing human beings that we really are.
The Three Main Fears:
I believe that the three key unconscious fears that drive people’s lives are:
1. I am not good enough/I am not worth loving
2. I am unsafe in some way
3. Death or separation
Remember, most of us are unconscious of those fears. There are many layers between them and our awareness and many things we can ‘blame’ for our unhappiness. But keep digging down from the issues we have in our lives, and I bet you end up in the darkness of “I am not good enough” or “I am not worth of loving”.
With those core fears driving us, a huge range of negative states emerge: jealousy, depression, anxiety, stress, anger, poor self esteem, needing endless approval, never trying anything new, beating ourselves up as failures, resenting others, fearing change, unhappy relationships, divorce, alcoholism or drug dependency, feeling a lack of control, being a control freak, performance anxiety. And about a zillion other issues people deal with daily!
Eradicate the Fears
We truly are gifted beings – once we acknowledge that and focus on our hearts wisdom and not our brains judgments, we grow faster.
While we are unconscious of the fears, we can’t do anything about them. Become a bigger person with your growth mindset and hunt those fears down – then challenge them. Are they true? Were they born from childish and inaccurate perceptions?
Remember, your mindset is just a collection of beliefs. And, beliefs are just thoughts arranged in a pattern!
Your mindset is never fixed forever – it’s merely a collection of beliefs and thoughts that have somehow been joined by your childhood environment, your experiences and the people with whom you hang around! You can change it if you want to!
All that we ARE, comes down to the State of MIND we choose to live in!
The number of potential mindsets that exist, really depends on how much you generalize the word “mindset”.
However, most people fit into a small number of mindsets, most of which fall into the types listed below. Many of us will fall into more than one of these mindsets; which can either be a really Good thing, or a really Detrimental thing. See which mindset(s) you resonate with below.
THE SOCIAL MINDSET: People who have the social mindset love to hang around with people, make new friends, and just explore new cultures and ways of life. People who are social thrive to spend time with their friends. They also get a kick out of talking to strangers, and being able to enjoy conversation with them.
The advantages of having the social mindset:
You find it easier to make new friends
You possess great communication skills
You’re able to be comfortable easily in the majority of social situations
The disadvantages of having the social mindset:
You may rely on talking with others for happiness
You might be too concerned with how others feel about you
Do you have the social mindset?
The GROWTH MINDSET: The growth mindset is a wonderful and amazing mindset. People who have the desire and drive to grow are always improving themselves. They love challenging themselves and constantly being better than they were yesterday.
It’s fairly easy to tell when someone has the growth mindset. They like to make working out a regular activity. They like to always be building their knowledge of themselves and the universe. They often become entrepreneurs seeking to help others grow, and they have an outlook that a situation can always be bettered.
The advantages of having the growth mindset:
You’re going to be improving different areas of your life at a fast pace
It’s going to be a lot easier for you to put in the work needed to succeed
The disadvantages of having the growth mindset:
You might be so set on growing, that you forget to actually enjoy living
Do you have the growth mindset?
The FEAR MINDSET: We all have a little bit of the fear mindset within all of us. However, those that let the fear mindset become their major way of thinking, become stuck.
People who let fear get the best of them are unable to use their time to the best of their ability. All those thrilling experiences, places traveled, achievements and such, never happen. They never happen because of the fear of what could go wrong, and that leads to a very minimal and quite frankly, dull life.
The advantages of having the fear mindset:
There are no real advantages
The disadvantages of having the fear mindset:
You can never achieve your dreams by being afraid
You will live inside a shell, afraid to try new things
It will become difficult to find your passion or purpose
Do you have the fear mindset?
The LAZY MINDSET: Being lazy is a pretty poor mindset to have, and it’s also a mindset that many more people are adopting upon themselves these days.
Why?
We’ve made them lazy. Through fast food and advanced technology such as the likes of TV and social media. Not to mention a number of other factors. So we have no discipline and no desire to get off our asses and do something productive.
The advantages of the lazy mindset:
It’s easy to achieve happiness in the short term
The disadvantages of the lazy mindset:
You’re unlikely to possess the discipline to achieve big things
Your health is at risk
Your time is often being wasted
Do you have the lazy mindset?
The ENVY MINDSET: Someone who’s envious is often jealous of other people who’re perhaps doing better than them. Maybe they’re jealous because of someone’s success, healthy relationship, job, wealth, body, looks…
You name it.
While it’s not the best mindset to have, there are a few advantages of being envious that you might not have expected.
The advantages of the envy mindset:
It can be a motivational factor in pushing you towards taking action
The disadvantages of the envy mindset:
You will become obsessed with what other people are doing
You will waste time over other people easily
You may come across to others in a negative way
Do you have the envy mindset?
The BUSINESS MINDSET: Some of you are interested in entrepreneurship, or may own your own business. The business mindset is one in which you love serving others.
You love to provide a service to people, and help change the world, while also working for yourself and making your own path.
The advantages of the business mindset:
You possess the qualities needed to help others
You’re able to solve difficult problems
You can achieve financial freedom and independence
The disadvantages of the business mindset:
You might be focused too much on money, and not on passion
There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with being an entrepreneur
Do you possess the business mindset?
The DREAMER MINDSET: The dreamer mindset is the one I love the most. People who possess this mindset have the ability to dream big and think big. They love to believe that anything is possible, and they have the ability to come up with incredible visions for their future.
Though, the mindset of a dreamer does have its flaws.
The advantages of the dreamer mindset:
You possess the ability to think big
You know what you want from your future
You realize just how much you can achieve from your life
The disadvantages of the dreamer mindset:
Dreaming is only good if you take action on those dreams
Do you possess the dreamer mindset?
The FOLLOWER MINDSET: The follower mindset is a way of thinking that easily allows others to decide what’s in store for your future. With the follower mindset, you don’t have complete control over your life, but you’re allowed to believe you do.
By telling you this, I mean that people who ‘follow’ are those who go with the normal way of doing things. They don’t like to question things.
Therefore they go to school like they’re supposed to. They get a job like they’re supposed to. They start a family like they’re supposed to.
Does this sound familiar to you?
The advantages of the follower mindset:
There’s less risk being a follower, and you’ll feel ‘safe’
The disadvantages of the follower mindset:
You will be going after what others want, not necessarily what you want
You might never truly achieve happiness
You’ll potentially only ever do or achieve things that 90% of others also achieve
Do you possess the follower mindset?
The GREED MINDSET: We’re guilty of always wanting more. It often doesn’t matter how much money we have, we still want more. It’s a vicious cycle.
In the past, the wealthy have been associated with being greedy. A common misconception is…. Nothing good comes from being greedy; and when we want more, we never fully achieve happiness despite how much we have to be thankful for in our lives.
The advantages of the greed mindset:
It may motivate you towards becoming a successful and wealthy individual
The disadvantages of the greed mindset:
Your greed may be the death of you
You will always want more, and never fully be satisfied
You’re not focused on helping others, one of the prime purpose’s in life
Do you possess the greed mindset?
The GRATITUDE MINDSET: I put the greed mindset before the gratitude mindset on purpose. A lot of people forget to be grateful for everything they have in life. For having a roof over their head, a paying job, a family, a good supply of food and water.
We often forget to be thankful for what we have, because the majority of people within our country of origin have exactly the same as us. The people we speak with and spend time with on a daily basis; all have access to the same basic resources we have.
If you can be grateful for what you have, you won’t take anything for granted in this life, and you’ll be happier in the long run.
The advantages of the gratitude mindset:
It keeps you humble, no matter how much success you achieve in life
You appreciate the things you have a lot more
It’s a lot easier for you to be a happy individual
You’ll make the most of the precious time you have
The disadvantages of the gratitude mindset:
There are no real disadvantages of being grateful
Do you possess the gratitude mindset?
The CONFIDENT MINDSET: Confidence is the key to action and happiness. When you combine confidence with a few of the other state of minds on this list, you become unstoppable.
How confident we are has a huge affect on our mental and physical health. How we think about ourselves, our ability to be social, and our belief in our capabilities.
The advantages of the confident mindset:
You’re happier with yourself and the way you are
You’re more likely to take action on your goals
It’s easier for you in social situations
The disadvantages of the confident mindset:
Over-confidence could lead to arrogance, which won’t benefit you in life
Do you possess the confident mindset?
The CREATIVE MINDSET: Being creative is a lot more difficult than it seems. At first you think you’re being creative, but you’re really replicating ideas that you’ve seen before without even knowing it.
If you’re a creative individual, that’s a great thing, because it means you’re able to be unique. Many people struggle with this, and it becomes hard for them to produce their best work.
The advantages of the creative mindset:
You’re able to produce unique ideas that others couldn’t think of
You’re a natural problem solver
You possess a skill that is tough for others to master
The disadvantages of the creative mindset:
Creativity could lead you to over-complicating the simplest of things
Do you possess the creative mindset?
The SHORT-TERM MINDSET: The short-term mindset is rather similar to the lazy mindset. It’s similar in the fact that people who are lazy tend to be people that are only obsessed with short term happiness.
Short term happiness is when someone is addicted to things that will make them happy for a short period of time, right here in the present moment. But continuing to do so results in being miserable in the long term later in life.
The advantages of the short-term mindset:
The only advantage is that you become happy for a short period of time
The disadvantages of the short-term mindset:
You’re reliant on addiction and lazy habits
You’re pushing yourself towards a miserable life in the long run
Nothing good comes from something easy
Do you possess the short-term mindset?
The ANGRY MINDSET: The angry mindset is simple. People who suffer from anger issues have the angry mindset. Maybe they’ve gone through really tough situations in the past, and that’s led to them becoming an angry individual.
There’s could be a lot of causes behind someone having anger issues, but the end result is them taking things out on other people a lot of the time.
The advantages of the angry mindset:
Potential motivation to improve your life and better yourself
The disadvantages of the angry mindset:
You’ll hurt others around you
You’re unable to control your emotions
You’ll waste time blaming others for the things wrong in your life
Do you possess the angry mindset?
The PRODUCTIVE MINDSET: The productive mindset is brilliant, because it allows someone to make the most of their time, and get tasks completed efficiently.
People who possess this state of mind are able to work towards their goals at a much faster rate, and are unlikely to fall victim to distractions.
The advantages of the productive mindset:
You find it easy to prioritize more important tasks over others
You can get work done efficiently and without distraction
The disadvantages of the productive mindset:
You might overwork yourself in time
Do you possess the productive mindset?
THE BOTTOM LINE
There are a lot of different types of mindsets people have in life. Depending on how much you want to generalize what makes a mindset, the number of variations could be endless. On the other hand, it could simply boil down to two mindsets: positive (growth) and negative (fixed).
It should be pretty clear to identify which mindsets (or attitudes) are going to be beneficial for your life, and which are going to have a bad affect on your life.
The important thing is to combine more than one beneficial mindset with another to truly be living life to the best of your abilities.
Your mindset plays a critical role in how you cope with life’s challenges. You may recognize some of these behaviors or beliefs in yourself or people around you.
You’ll see that awareness and integrity are linked to a better quality of life, and acceptance with gratitude can take you from the “okay life” to the “good life.”
Remember that song earlier? Hopefully you can now embody this song when thinking about yourself. Developing a truly positive mindset and gaining these benefits is a function of the thoughts you cultivate.
Remember — this MINDSET series isn’t about the kind of positive thinking that is all positive, all the time. I don’t claim that just “thinking happy thoughts” will bring you all the success you desire in life, and we certainly don’t believe that optimism is warranted in every situation, every minute of the day.
Developing the right thoughts is not about being constantly happy or cheerful, and it’s not about ignoring anything negative or unpleasant in your life. It’s about incorporating both the positive and negative into your perspective and choosing to still be generally optimistic.
It’s about acknowledging that you will not always be happy and learning to accept bad moods and difficult emotions when they come.
Above all, it’s about increasing your control over your own attitude in the face of whatever comes your way. You cannot always control the thoughts that pop into your head, but you can choose how you handle them.
When you choose to give in to the negativity, pessimism, and doom-and-gloom view of the world, you are not only submitting to a loss of control and potentially wallowing in unhappiness—you are missing out on an important opportunity for growth and development.
Keep in mind, that your mindset is never fixed forever – it’s merely a collection of beliefs and thoughts that have somehow been joined by your childhood environment, your experiences, and the people with whom you hang around! You can change it if you want to!
Our mindsets exist on a continuous cycle from fixed to growth, and although we’d like to always have a growth mindset, the reality is that we can only be on a journey to a growth mindset. The goal is to recognize fixed mindset elements in ourselves and then reflect on feedback and strategies for how to improve.
In the next few blogs, we’ll identify some of the benefits of approaching life from a positive point of view, and explore some tips and techniques for cultivating a positive mindset in a way that is meaningful for you individually, and for your family.